Room 302
Zero Caspian and his old friend, Jason Hero, entered the Gangling Arms apartment building. It was a large building for this part of town, although it was only six stories tall. They entered the small lobby, where they were greeted by a fat, grotesquely obese man sitting behind a low counter on a chair that seemed ready to break. Jason slipped the man a hundred dollar bill and whispered "Room 302" very quietly. The fat man took the hundred dollar bill and tucked it under his dorsal flab.
Then he yelled "WHICH ROOM SIR?!" in a ridiculous cockney accent.
"Room 302," said Jason again, much louder this time.
"OK!" yelled the fat man, handing Jason the spare key for room 302. Jason then turned to the stairwell, but he was stopped by Zero Caspian's firm grip.
"Wait a minute," he said, turning back to the fat man and sliding another hundred dollar bill across the counter. "Give me the key to Room 303, as well," he said loudly.
Taking both their keys, the two men walked up to the third floor. Jason then asked Zero what he needed the other key for. "I'm going to go into room 303. You'll go into room 302, and then when you give the order I'll come through the wall, guns blazing," Zero explained.
"How will you come through the wall?" asked Jason.
"I have my ways, don't worry about it," Zero replied.
"Also, you don't carry a gun," Jason pointed out.
"It's a figure of speech, jeeeeeez!" came Zero's retort.
"And lastly, why don't I get to burst through the wall?" said Jason, lastly.
"Because I thought up the plan, and I technically paid for the key to room 303, and a whole bunch of other reasons I've yet to think of. Just do it!" yelled Zero quietly, as to not arouse suspicions.
Zero opened room 303's door and stepped inside. Jason was to wait five minutes, according to the plan, to let Zero get in place, and then burst into room 302, guns blazing. (Literally, this time.) Despite Zero and Jason not suspecting a thing, they decided it would be a good idea to go into the room like it was full of thugs just waiting for a chance to beat them up.
Inside room 303, Zero came face to face with a beautiful young woman. After making out with the woman, who was unable to resist Zero's charming voice or his good looks, for four minutes, he realised he had a job to do so he gave the woman a quick karate chop to the neck to momentarily render her unconcious. He kneeld down to squeeze her breast one last time for posterity, then he stood and cast a freezing spell on the wall in front of him, turning it into a sheet of brittle ice. Counting down the seconds, he jumped kicked through the wall, shattering it into exactly one million pieces.
Jason kicked down the door without even bothering with the lock. He regretted spending $100 on the key. A lot. Bursting into the room, he surveyed it quickly. Standing at various points around the large apartment were armed thugs who stared at Jason blankly. Behind them stood Zero Caspian, who had timed his jumpkick perfectly. He was karate chopping them in the neck (the fatal kind) one after another with no resistance. Suddenly, Jason caught movement in the corner of his eye (the right one). Bounding towards him was a very large man who was shouting curses at the top of his lungs. Without warning, the large man tripped over a couch which he had somehow failed to see and plunged head first into the ground. Jason shot him four times in the back of the head, and then started killing a bunch of the other men in the room. After about thirty seconds of gunfire, he stopped to once again survey the room. It was now filled with corpses. Zero Caspian stood across from him, holding the only survivour in a choke hold, pumping him for information. Jason could not hear what he was saying, being temporarily deafened by the gunshots, but Zero finally broke the man's neck and then walked over to Jason.
"He said this was a setup and that they were ordered to fire on two men wearing pink jackets. Apparently they didn't know what to do when we stepped in wearing regular clothes. The big man was their boss, but the guy said he didn't know his name. They just called him 'Boss'. The guy said he didn't know any Boris. That's all I could get out of him. I was going to ask him where they were hired, but then I broke his neck by accident. I don't always know my own strength," Zero said, laughing uproariously. He was joined by Jason and they shared a good hearty chuckle.
The two men then walked out of the apartment via the back entrance, towards Happy Richard's, another bar where Jason had contacts. Boris was proving to be a hard man to track down. Little did Jason and Zero know that an unseen hand played to protect Boris, and the closer they got to finding him, the more deadly the game became...
Then he yelled "WHICH ROOM SIR?!" in a ridiculous cockney accent.
"Room 302," said Jason again, much louder this time.
"OK!" yelled the fat man, handing Jason the spare key for room 302. Jason then turned to the stairwell, but he was stopped by Zero Caspian's firm grip.
"Wait a minute," he said, turning back to the fat man and sliding another hundred dollar bill across the counter. "Give me the key to Room 303, as well," he said loudly.
Taking both their keys, the two men walked up to the third floor. Jason then asked Zero what he needed the other key for. "I'm going to go into room 303. You'll go into room 302, and then when you give the order I'll come through the wall, guns blazing," Zero explained.
"How will you come through the wall?" asked Jason.
"I have my ways, don't worry about it," Zero replied.
"Also, you don't carry a gun," Jason pointed out.
"It's a figure of speech, jeeeeeez!" came Zero's retort.
"And lastly, why don't I get to burst through the wall?" said Jason, lastly.
"Because I thought up the plan, and I technically paid for the key to room 303, and a whole bunch of other reasons I've yet to think of. Just do it!" yelled Zero quietly, as to not arouse suspicions.
Zero opened room 303's door and stepped inside. Jason was to wait five minutes, according to the plan, to let Zero get in place, and then burst into room 302, guns blazing. (Literally, this time.) Despite Zero and Jason not suspecting a thing, they decided it would be a good idea to go into the room like it was full of thugs just waiting for a chance to beat them up.
Inside room 303, Zero came face to face with a beautiful young woman. After making out with the woman, who was unable to resist Zero's charming voice or his good looks, for four minutes, he realised he had a job to do so he gave the woman a quick karate chop to the neck to momentarily render her unconcious. He kneeld down to squeeze her breast one last time for posterity, then he stood and cast a freezing spell on the wall in front of him, turning it into a sheet of brittle ice. Counting down the seconds, he jumped kicked through the wall, shattering it into exactly one million pieces.
Jason kicked down the door without even bothering with the lock. He regretted spending $100 on the key. A lot. Bursting into the room, he surveyed it quickly. Standing at various points around the large apartment were armed thugs who stared at Jason blankly. Behind them stood Zero Caspian, who had timed his jumpkick perfectly. He was karate chopping them in the neck (the fatal kind) one after another with no resistance. Suddenly, Jason caught movement in the corner of his eye (the right one). Bounding towards him was a very large man who was shouting curses at the top of his lungs. Without warning, the large man tripped over a couch which he had somehow failed to see and plunged head first into the ground. Jason shot him four times in the back of the head, and then started killing a bunch of the other men in the room. After about thirty seconds of gunfire, he stopped to once again survey the room. It was now filled with corpses. Zero Caspian stood across from him, holding the only survivour in a choke hold, pumping him for information. Jason could not hear what he was saying, being temporarily deafened by the gunshots, but Zero finally broke the man's neck and then walked over to Jason.
"He said this was a setup and that they were ordered to fire on two men wearing pink jackets. Apparently they didn't know what to do when we stepped in wearing regular clothes. The big man was their boss, but the guy said he didn't know his name. They just called him 'Boss'. The guy said he didn't know any Boris. That's all I could get out of him. I was going to ask him where they were hired, but then I broke his neck by accident. I don't always know my own strength," Zero said, laughing uproariously. He was joined by Jason and they shared a good hearty chuckle.
The two men then walked out of the apartment via the back entrance, towards Happy Richard's, another bar where Jason had contacts. Boris was proving to be a hard man to track down. Little did Jason and Zero know that an unseen hand played to protect Boris, and the closer they got to finding him, the more deadly the game became...
posted by Andrew Spittal at 12:21 AM
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