The Long Road to Doom
Thaddius and Crimebot crouched behind the low metal bulwark, trying to avoid being riddled with bullets. Usually, Crimebot liked riddles because they let his logic circuits get a good workout, but these riddles were far too deadly for even our titular crime fighting robot. He shouted over the crackle of gunfire to Thaddius to cover him. Thaddius leaned out from the end of the bulwark and started firing wildly towards the source of the deadly hail of bullets that had been pouring down on him. The firing slowed for a moment while his foes took temporary cover, and Crimebot took advantage of the situation to stand and fire a salvo of missiles at the gunmen.
The missiles flew straight up and exploded, taking out a good chunk of the warehouse ceiling as they did. Crimebot grabbed Thaddius and pulled him aside, just avoiding the debris which would have surely killed Thaddius through an elaborate process of bone crushing and organ exploding. Thaddius was outraged "Dammit, CB, what the hell did you have to go and do that for?" he exclaimed.
Crimebot was confused. Not about the CB thing, because that is what Thaddius had been calling him these last couple weeks while they travelled by foot to the warehouse on the other side of the country, something they had done out of necessity when they had learned all the trains and planes and major highways were being watched. The trip had been a long one, and the two former enemies had become friends thanks to the many ordeals and hardships and exciting deadly experiences which are too exciting and deadly to explain here or anywhere. Their entire journey had almost been for naught, because when the two heroes arrived at the warehouse, an AED-RAC, or Anti-Eavedropping Device - Robots, Androids and Cybermen, had made Crimebot shout his proximity, alerting the guards, who were still shooting at him.
No, what confused him was why Thaddius wasn't more appreciative of Crimebot for just saving his life- but he chalked it up to Thaddius' strange nature and love of yelling. Just then, to snap Crimebot of his computerized brain's wonderment function, a few bullets hit Crimebot, ricocheting off his hardened titanium exoskeleton and causing no damage. Thaddius yelled some more, "Dammit, CB, why don't you just walk over there and arrest those mofos?" he intoned, giving Crimebot and idea.
Leaping over the rubble pile he had just made, Crimebot walked up to the gunmen, who were now furiously pumping round after round of small-caliber ammuntion into Crimebot with no effect, and shot three of them with his lasers, causing the other four to attempt to run away. Crimebot told them to stop resisting arrest and fired another salvo of laser at them, causing one man to flip over and land upside-down against a wall, and killing another two in the more traditional manner whereby a large hole appears in them and then they fall down. The fourth man made it to the wall, where a switch rested; an alarm switch, which would have called for reinforcement from HQ. Crimebot's lasers were still charging, and the man was too far away to punch to death, so he thought he was in trouble, when the man fell down, dead as his friends or maybe deader, a single bullet from Thaddius' high calibre revolver having lodged itself squarely in the man's brain.
Crimebot blooped and bleeped in celebration. He turned to Thaddius, "Nice shot, Thad, looks like that guy really got ahead of himself!" he said, laughing robotically.
Thaddius just shook his head, saying, "Damn, CB, that was dry. Dry as a hot summer day in the desert, baby," chuckling all the while.
Thaddius and Crimebot then charged up the stairs to the next room, where three men lie unconcious in medical beds, fastened down. They were blood-covered and bruised, but seemed to have all their limbs. Crimebot whirred. Was it really possible? Had he really found his friends after all this searching? He shook them awake, one at a time, while Thaddius followed, unfastening their straps. "Friends, friends is it really you?" Crimebot inquired softly.
Ross was the first one out of bed, wrapping his battered arms around Crimebot's cold body. "Crimebot!" he exclaimed, "Crimebot is that really you? Damn, buddy, we thought you were dead! We thought we'd never see you again!"
Zero Caspian rose and shook Crimebot's hand, smiling knowingly and giving the titanium man a pat on his shoulder. "It's good to see you again, chum. I always knew your metal might would come in handy one day, when my magic couldn't save us. Looks like I was right," he smiled, and sat down on the bed. Jason Hero said nothing, he just nodded to Crimebot, a gesture of extreme thanks coming from the stoic Jason.
Ross motioned towards Thaddius and asked Crimebot who he was. "Oh, this? This is Thaddius Marshall, an informant from Omegalopolis. I made him lead me to this warehouse. Speaking of which," he paused, turning to Thaddius, "You held up your end of the bargain, and you're free to go whenever you please," he said, looking forlorn.
"Maybe if we hadn't been through what we'd been through, old buddy, but those exciting and deadly experiences and adventures we had on the way here made me realise there is more to life then swindling guys with too much money and bagging the finest broads, so I'd like to come with you if I could," Thaddius said, which made Crimebot's eyes light up even brighter than they were normally lit, although he didn't understand the concept of bagging a broad. Maybe he would look more into it. But for now, it meant his friend was coming with them.
Ross looked to Crimebot again. "Exciting and deadly adventures? Sounds interesting! Care to fill us in on what we missed while we were out?"
Crimebot smiled. "First, let's find a safe place," he said, and the five men headed to a safehouse Thaddius happened to know about from his days as a youth here on the West coast. After settling in a little, Crimebot explained to him the situation with Boris- that he was still at large, and then explained in great detail his exciting and deadly adventures, including the one with the Mammoth Bears and the man-eating plants of the radioactive mid-West and the especially exciting and deadly one concerning the den of tengus he had stumbled unto, which they only survived though Crimebot's cunning plan and Thaddius' smooth talking skill. He also explained other exciting and deadly experiences which are too numerous to be listed here, but it suffices to say that the other were rapt in their attention to his storytelling.
What our heroes didn't realise, however, was that while they listened closely to Crimebot's stories of excitement and deadliness, sinister forces were at play, moving their operations ever closer to their finale, and ever closer to our unsuspecting heroes...
The missiles flew straight up and exploded, taking out a good chunk of the warehouse ceiling as they did. Crimebot grabbed Thaddius and pulled him aside, just avoiding the debris which would have surely killed Thaddius through an elaborate process of bone crushing and organ exploding. Thaddius was outraged "Dammit, CB, what the hell did you have to go and do that for?" he exclaimed.
Crimebot was confused. Not about the CB thing, because that is what Thaddius had been calling him these last couple weeks while they travelled by foot to the warehouse on the other side of the country, something they had done out of necessity when they had learned all the trains and planes and major highways were being watched. The trip had been a long one, and the two former enemies had become friends thanks to the many ordeals and hardships and exciting deadly experiences which are too exciting and deadly to explain here or anywhere. Their entire journey had almost been for naught, because when the two heroes arrived at the warehouse, an AED-RAC, or Anti-Eavedropping Device - Robots, Androids and Cybermen, had made Crimebot shout his proximity, alerting the guards, who were still shooting at him.
No, what confused him was why Thaddius wasn't more appreciative of Crimebot for just saving his life- but he chalked it up to Thaddius' strange nature and love of yelling. Just then, to snap Crimebot of his computerized brain's wonderment function, a few bullets hit Crimebot, ricocheting off his hardened titanium exoskeleton and causing no damage. Thaddius yelled some more, "Dammit, CB, why don't you just walk over there and arrest those mofos?" he intoned, giving Crimebot and idea.
Leaping over the rubble pile he had just made, Crimebot walked up to the gunmen, who were now furiously pumping round after round of small-caliber ammuntion into Crimebot with no effect, and shot three of them with his lasers, causing the other four to attempt to run away. Crimebot told them to stop resisting arrest and fired another salvo of laser at them, causing one man to flip over and land upside-down against a wall, and killing another two in the more traditional manner whereby a large hole appears in them and then they fall down. The fourth man made it to the wall, where a switch rested; an alarm switch, which would have called for reinforcement from HQ. Crimebot's lasers were still charging, and the man was too far away to punch to death, so he thought he was in trouble, when the man fell down, dead as his friends or maybe deader, a single bullet from Thaddius' high calibre revolver having lodged itself squarely in the man's brain.
Crimebot blooped and bleeped in celebration. He turned to Thaddius, "Nice shot, Thad, looks like that guy really got ahead of himself!" he said, laughing robotically.
Thaddius just shook his head, saying, "Damn, CB, that was dry. Dry as a hot summer day in the desert, baby," chuckling all the while.
Thaddius and Crimebot then charged up the stairs to the next room, where three men lie unconcious in medical beds, fastened down. They were blood-covered and bruised, but seemed to have all their limbs. Crimebot whirred. Was it really possible? Had he really found his friends after all this searching? He shook them awake, one at a time, while Thaddius followed, unfastening their straps. "Friends, friends is it really you?" Crimebot inquired softly.
Ross was the first one out of bed, wrapping his battered arms around Crimebot's cold body. "Crimebot!" he exclaimed, "Crimebot is that really you? Damn, buddy, we thought you were dead! We thought we'd never see you again!"
Zero Caspian rose and shook Crimebot's hand, smiling knowingly and giving the titanium man a pat on his shoulder. "It's good to see you again, chum. I always knew your metal might would come in handy one day, when my magic couldn't save us. Looks like I was right," he smiled, and sat down on the bed. Jason Hero said nothing, he just nodded to Crimebot, a gesture of extreme thanks coming from the stoic Jason.
Ross motioned towards Thaddius and asked Crimebot who he was. "Oh, this? This is Thaddius Marshall, an informant from Omegalopolis. I made him lead me to this warehouse. Speaking of which," he paused, turning to Thaddius, "You held up your end of the bargain, and you're free to go whenever you please," he said, looking forlorn.
"Maybe if we hadn't been through what we'd been through, old buddy, but those exciting and deadly experiences and adventures we had on the way here made me realise there is more to life then swindling guys with too much money and bagging the finest broads, so I'd like to come with you if I could," Thaddius said, which made Crimebot's eyes light up even brighter than they were normally lit, although he didn't understand the concept of bagging a broad. Maybe he would look more into it. But for now, it meant his friend was coming with them.
Ross looked to Crimebot again. "Exciting and deadly adventures? Sounds interesting! Care to fill us in on what we missed while we were out?"
Crimebot smiled. "First, let's find a safe place," he said, and the five men headed to a safehouse Thaddius happened to know about from his days as a youth here on the West coast. After settling in a little, Crimebot explained to him the situation with Boris- that he was still at large, and then explained in great detail his exciting and deadly adventures, including the one with the Mammoth Bears and the man-eating plants of the radioactive mid-West and the especially exciting and deadly one concerning the den of tengus he had stumbled unto, which they only survived though Crimebot's cunning plan and Thaddius' smooth talking skill. He also explained other exciting and deadly experiences which are too numerous to be listed here, but it suffices to say that the other were rapt in their attention to his storytelling.
What our heroes didn't realise, however, was that while they listened closely to Crimebot's stories of excitement and deadliness, sinister forces were at play, moving their operations ever closer to their finale, and ever closer to our unsuspecting heroes...
posted by Andrew Spittal at 11:35 PM
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