Thursday, July 12, 2007

Back Into Action

Our heroes, Zero Caspian, Jason Hero, Ross Campbell, and Crimebot, walked along the midnight terrace. Thaddius Marshall, Crimebot's recently acquired ally, had returned to Omegalopolis, his home. San Guillermo was the largest city on the West coast, formed after several other major cities had merged under the leadership of the religious zealot, Guillermo.

Crimebot looked around the alley, swiveling his head three hundred and sixty degrees, which he could do because he was a robot. Ross also tried to swivel his head three hundred and sixty degrees, but not being a robot was unable to and fell down, having hurt his neck badly. Crimebot helped him up, and a quick healing spell from Zero Caspian, who had spent the severals days they had been in San Guillermo adding various spells to his deadly arsenal, which was now even more deadly. Deadlier even than a scorpion, some said, but Jason Hero never believed that because he was afraid of scorpions and so he figured if he was afraid of them they must be pretty deadly!

Crimebot blooped. He had spotted something. Ross stood up, having lain back down for no reason after Crimebot helped him up. He brushed himself off, and then asked Crimebot what he had seen. Crimebot bleeped. "It looked like... no... it couldn't be. That's impossible!" he said, then, after a moment's pause, added "Unless...".

Jason threw his hands up in the air. "Unless what, you servo-filled monstrosity?" he shouted, earning himself a quick slap from Ross who didn't like his tone as he addressed Crimebot. Jason just rubbed his face and gave Ross a dirty look, snarling. Ross thought it looked like he was going to cry and so started to laugh uproariously until a single tear actually rolled down Jason's cheek, at which point Ross felt very bad and only laughed downroariously.

Crimebot patted his friends on their respective backs, controlling his robot hands so that he did not shatter their spines into one million shards each, which he could have easily done, probably. He wheeled a bit closer to Ross and whispered, "Max Applesauce...".

Ross nearly jumped out of his clothes, which would have been kind of gay since everyone in the alley was male. "Not... not THE Max Applesauce, senator? The same one that was replaced by a cyborg all those months ago? I though he was dead!" Ross exclaimed, his clothes now showing no signs of flying off.

"NOT QUITE!" yelled a voice, from high above our heroes. It was followed by an explosion which caused everyone but Zero Caspian (who was singing softly to himself) and Crimebot (who is made out of titanium and so figured he had nothing to fear from it) fall to the ground. Suddenly, a booming laugh rang out from behind the source of the explosion, and down leaped a man of large stature with a confused and angry look on his face. "WELL WELL!" he bellowed, "IF IT ISN'T MY OLD FRIENDS CRIMEBOAT AND ROSS CAMPSMELL" he bellowed more, even louder than the first set of bellows.

Crimebot blooped. It had been several months since a secret switch had replaced Max Applesauce with Cyborg Max Applesauce, who had then tried to kill them, and he wondered how he had been. Before Max could explain, a car whizzed by the nearby street, spraying a dead spray of bullets, which sprayed in a spraying pattern. Zero Caspian nonchalantly put up a wall of ice spell, protecting his friends from the deadly hail or spray or whatever, which caused the car to whiz even faster, disappearing around a corner. Suddenly, there was a crash! As our heroes rounded the corner that the car had just whizzed around, they saw the car wrapped around a telephone pole. Two dead men lay a couple yards away. Crimebot looted their corpses for evidence, and was shocked by what he found. He turned to Ross and held up a small chain. "Recognize this, Ross?" Crimebot inquired.

Ross nodded. "That's a chain like Boris had, isn't it?" he replied.
Crimebot applied to the affirmative, then shook his head. "I can't believe that *expletive deleted* is still alive!" he shouted, his self-censorship unit kicking in at the last second to save him from a language faux pas.

Just then, Max shouted "WATCH OUT CREAMBOOT!" and toppled Crimebot into a nearby alleyway. After a few moments, Max Applesauce jumped up and ran over to a nearby fire hydrant, karate chopping it several dozen times until he knocked a cap off and water gushed out, knocking Max down. Max then began to headbutt the stream of water, until the initial pressure died down and Max slapped his hands together as if to brush off dust, despite being soaking wet.

Ross looked at Crimebot confusedly. Crimebot merely shook his head, as if to say "That's our Max!" or possibly "My neck servos are seriously malfunctioning and I can't stop shaking my head side to side like this," or something of the like.

Ross, Crimebot, Zero, Max and Jason then set off on their new task, which was ironically the same as their old task; catch Boris! This time, every member of the team knew to be alert and ready for any trap their enemies had prepared for them. They felt confident, being sure they had encountered all the tricks their foes had up their sleeves.

But a dangerous plan was about to come to fruition, with our heroes about to become the deadly harvest...