Back Into Action

Our heroes, Zero Caspian, Jason Hero, Ross Campbell, and Crimebot, walked along the midnight terrace. Thaddius Marshall, Crimebot's recently acquired ally, had returned to Omegalopolis, his home. San Guillermo was the largest city on the West coast, formed after several other major cities had merged under the leadership of the religious zealot, Guillermo.

Crimebot looked around the alley, swiveling his head three hundred and sixty degrees, which he could do because he was a robot. Ross also tried to swivel his head three hundred and sixty degrees, but not being a robot was unable to and fell down, having hurt his neck badly. Crimebot helped him up, and a quick healing spell from Zero Caspian, who had spent the severals days they had been in San Guillermo adding various spells to his deadly arsenal, which was now even more deadly. Deadlier even than a scorpion, some said, but Jason Hero never believed that because he was afraid of scorpions and so he figured if he was afraid of them they must be pretty deadly!

Crimebot blooped. He had spotted something. Ross stood up, having lain back down for no reason after Crimebot helped him up. He brushed himself off, and then asked Crimebot what he had seen. Crimebot bleeped. "It looked like... no... it couldn't be. That's impossible!" he said, then, after a moment's pause, added "Unless...".

Jason threw his hands up in the air. "Unless what, you servo-filled monstrosity?" he shouted, earning himself a quick slap from Ross who didn't like his tone as he addressed Crimebot. Jason just rubbed his face and gave Ross a dirty look, snarling. Ross thought it looked like he was going to cry and so started to laugh uproariously until a single tear actually rolled down Jason's cheek, at which point Ross felt very bad and only laughed downroariously.

Crimebot patted his friends on their respective backs, controlling his robot hands so that he did not shatter their spines into one million shards each, which he could have easily done, probably. He wheeled a bit closer to Ross and whispered, "Max Applesauce...".

Ross nearly jumped out of his clothes, which would have been kind of gay since everyone in the alley was male. "Not... not THE Max Applesauce, senator? The same one that was replaced by a cyborg all those months ago? I though he was dead!" Ross exclaimed, his clothes now showing no signs of flying off.

"NOT QUITE!" yelled a voice, from high above our heroes. It was followed by an explosion which caused everyone but Zero Caspian (who was singing softly to himself) and Crimebot (who is made out of titanium and so figured he had nothing to fear from it) fall to the ground. Suddenly, a booming laugh rang out from behind the source of the explosion, and down leaped a man of large stature with a confused and angry look on his face. "WELL WELL!" he bellowed, "IF IT ISN'T MY OLD FRIENDS CRIMEBOAT AND ROSS CAMPSMELL" he bellowed more, even louder than the first set of bellows.

Crimebot blooped. It had been several months since a secret switch had replaced Max Applesauce with Cyborg Max Applesauce, who had then tried to kill them, and he wondered how he had been. Before Max could explain, a car whizzed by the nearby street, spraying a dead spray of bullets, which sprayed in a spraying pattern. Zero Caspian nonchalantly put up a wall of ice spell, protecting his friends from the deadly hail or spray or whatever, which caused the car to whiz even faster, disappearing around a corner. Suddenly, there was a crash! As our heroes rounded the corner that the car had just whizzed around, they saw the car wrapped around a telephone pole. Two dead men lay a couple yards away. Crimebot looted their corpses for evidence, and was shocked by what he found. He turned to Ross and held up a small chain. "Recognize this, Ross?" Crimebot inquired.

Ross nodded. "That's a chain like Boris had, isn't it?" he replied.
Crimebot applied to the affirmative, then shook his head. "I can't believe that *expletive deleted* is still alive!" he shouted, his self-censorship unit kicking in at the last second to save him from a language faux pas.

Just then, Max shouted "WATCH OUT CREAMBOOT!" and toppled Crimebot into a nearby alleyway. After a few moments, Max Applesauce jumped up and ran over to a nearby fire hydrant, karate chopping it several dozen times until he knocked a cap off and water gushed out, knocking Max down. Max then began to headbutt the stream of water, until the initial pressure died down and Max slapped his hands together as if to brush off dust, despite being soaking wet.

Ross looked at Crimebot confusedly. Crimebot merely shook his head, as if to say "That's our Max!" or possibly "My neck servos are seriously malfunctioning and I can't stop shaking my head side to side like this," or something of the like.

Ross, Crimebot, Zero, Max and Jason then set off on their new task, which was ironically the same as their old task; catch Boris! This time, every member of the team knew to be alert and ready for any trap their enemies had prepared for them. They felt confident, being sure they had encountered all the tricks their foes had up their sleeves.

But a dangerous plan was about to come to fruition, with our heroes about to become the deadly harvest...

The Long Road to Doom

Thaddius and Crimebot crouched behind the low metal bulwark, trying to avoid being riddled with bullets. Usually, Crimebot liked riddles because they let his logic circuits get a good workout, but these riddles were far too deadly for even our titular crime fighting robot. He shouted over the crackle of gunfire to Thaddius to cover him. Thaddius leaned out from the end of the bulwark and started firing wildly towards the source of the deadly hail of bullets that had been pouring down on him. The firing slowed for a moment while his foes took temporary cover, and Crimebot took advantage of the situation to stand and fire a salvo of missiles at the gunmen.

The missiles flew straight up and exploded, taking out a good chunk of the warehouse ceiling as they did. Crimebot grabbed Thaddius and pulled him aside, just avoiding the debris which would have surely killed Thaddius through an elaborate process of bone crushing and organ exploding. Thaddius was outraged "Dammit, CB, what the hell did you have to go and do that for?" he exclaimed.

Crimebot was confused. Not about the CB thing, because that is what Thaddius had been calling him these last couple weeks while they travelled by foot to the warehouse on the other side of the country, something they had done out of necessity when they had learned all the trains and planes and major highways were being watched. The trip had been a long one, and the two former enemies had become friends thanks to the many ordeals and hardships and exciting deadly experiences which are too exciting and deadly to explain here or anywhere. Their entire journey had almost been for naught, because when the two heroes arrived at the warehouse, an AED-RAC, or Anti-Eavedropping Device - Robots, Androids and Cybermen, had made Crimebot shout his proximity, alerting the guards, who were still shooting at him.

No, what confused him was why Thaddius wasn't more appreciative of Crimebot for just saving his life- but he chalked it up to Thaddius' strange nature and love of yelling. Just then, to snap Crimebot of his computerized brain's wonderment function, a few bullets hit Crimebot, ricocheting off his hardened titanium exoskeleton and causing no damage. Thaddius yelled some more, "Dammit, CB, why don't you just walk over there and arrest those mofos?" he intoned, giving Crimebot and idea.

Leaping over the rubble pile he had just made, Crimebot walked up to the gunmen, who were now furiously pumping round after round of small-caliber ammuntion into Crimebot with no effect, and shot three of them with his lasers, causing the other four to attempt to run away. Crimebot told them to stop resisting arrest and fired another salvo of laser at them, causing one man to flip over and land upside-down against a wall, and killing another two in the more traditional manner whereby a large hole appears in them and then they fall down. The fourth man made it to the wall, where a switch rested; an alarm switch, which would have called for reinforcement from HQ. Crimebot's lasers were still charging, and the man was too far away to punch to death, so he thought he was in trouble, when the man fell down, dead as his friends or maybe deader, a single bullet from Thaddius' high calibre revolver having lodged itself squarely in the man's brain.

Crimebot blooped and bleeped in celebration. He turned to Thaddius, "Nice shot, Thad, looks like that guy really got ahead of himself!" he said, laughing robotically.

Thaddius just shook his head, saying, "Damn, CB, that was dry. Dry as a hot summer day in the desert, baby," chuckling all the while.

Thaddius and Crimebot then charged up the stairs to the next room, where three men lie unconcious in medical beds, fastened down. They were blood-covered and bruised, but seemed to have all their limbs. Crimebot whirred. Was it really possible? Had he really found his friends after all this searching? He shook them awake, one at a time, while Thaddius followed, unfastening their straps. "Friends, friends is it really you?" Crimebot inquired softly.

Ross was the first one out of bed, wrapping his battered arms around Crimebot's cold body. "Crimebot!" he exclaimed, "Crimebot is that really you? Damn, buddy, we thought you were dead! We thought we'd never see you again!"

Zero Caspian rose and shook Crimebot's hand, smiling knowingly and giving the titanium man a pat on his shoulder. "It's good to see you again, chum. I always knew your metal might would come in handy one day, when my magic couldn't save us. Looks like I was right," he smiled, and sat down on the bed. Jason Hero said nothing, he just nodded to Crimebot, a gesture of extreme thanks coming from the stoic Jason.

Ross motioned towards Thaddius and asked Crimebot who he was. "Oh, this? This is Thaddius Marshall, an informant from Omegalopolis. I made him lead me to this warehouse. Speaking of which," he paused, turning to Thaddius, "You held up your end of the bargain, and you're free to go whenever you please," he said, looking forlorn.

"Maybe if we hadn't been through what we'd been through, old buddy, but those exciting and deadly experiences and adventures we had on the way here made me realise there is more to life then swindling guys with too much money and bagging the finest broads, so I'd like to come with you if I could," Thaddius said, which made Crimebot's eyes light up even brighter than they were normally lit, although he didn't understand the concept of bagging a broad. Maybe he would look more into it. But for now, it meant his friend was coming with them.

Ross looked to Crimebot again. "Exciting and deadly adventures? Sounds interesting! Care to fill us in on what we missed while we were out?"

Crimebot smiled. "First, let's find a safe place," he said, and the five men headed to a safehouse Thaddius happened to know about from his days as a youth here on the West coast. After settling in a little, Crimebot explained to him the situation with Boris- that he was still at large, and then explained in great detail his exciting and deadly adventures, including the one with the Mammoth Bears and the man-eating plants of the radioactive mid-West and the especially exciting and deadly one concerning the den of tengus he had stumbled unto, which they only survived though Crimebot's cunning plan and Thaddius' smooth talking skill. He also explained other exciting and deadly experiences which are too numerous to be listed here, but it suffices to say that the other were rapt in their attention to his storytelling.

What our heroes didn't realise, however, was that while they listened closely to Crimebot's stories of excitement and deadliness, sinister forces were at play, moving their operations ever closer to their finale, and ever closer to our unsuspecting heroes...

Friendly Foes

Crimebot let go of the man's neck. As the metal man's grip relaxed, Thaddius Marshall fell to the ground with a thud. Crimebot's eyes lit up, more than normal. "Tell me where my friends are, or I'll squeeze out your brain juices and then use as lubrication for my arm joints, then I'll use my newly lubricated arms to bash in your chest cavity!"
Thaddius quaked in fear and nearly pooped his pants. Thaddius Marshall, a known informant, was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, he had Dr. Julius Brench's very stern warning not to give any information out about him, and on the other hand, he had a giant machine built to serve and protect. What had his especially worried, though, was that this particular machine had a reputation for serving and protecting by brutally beating and possibly defenstrating those who he viewed as criminals. "Listen man," he began, but was quickly cut off by Crimebot.
"I do not want your pathetic drivel! Give me the information I seek or it's curtains for you!" Crimebot shouted. Thaddius gulped.
"What kind of curtains?" he then asked.
"I don't know, what kind to they use at funeral homes?" Crimebot replied.
Thaddius thought for a moment, then said "Satin, I think," which made Crimebot's eyes light up a little.
"Then it'll be those kinds of curtains!" he shouted loudly, right into Thaddius' face, spitting oil.
"Alright, alright," Thaddius replied, "I'll take you to the old warehouse where they're lodged up."
"And it won't be a trap?" Crimebot inquired.
"Yeah, yeah, possibly. Maybe it is, but what do you have to lose?" Thaddius shot back, cockily.
"Nothing... but my life!!!" screamed Crimebot, punching Thaddius in the face so hard it knocked him out.

When Thaddius awoke, it was dark and raining. He found some shelter in the banged up old car he had been placed in. Though the windows had long been smashed by gangsters or kids hopped up on drugs, or maybe a guy who hates windows, I don't know and it doesn't really matter. Anyways, the point is that there were no windows, but a roof, and the roof kept at least a little rain off his back. He looked around, and he eyes quickly became adjusted to the dark outside. He was in the Steel Nest, there was no doubt about it. The Steel Nest was an old disused scrap yard, chock full of broken down old cars with windows smashed by the same mysterious and irrelevant hoodlums that had smashed his car's. The Steel Nest was also home to the Metal Ravens, one of the most dangerous gang of street punks around. They were led by their leader (obviously), Iron Crow, [despite the fact that a crow is a lesser animal than a raven in my opinion.] who as ruthless as he was without ruth. That is to say, very. Thaddius was in trouble, and deep in it, too. If the Metal Ravens found him hanging out in their turf, they'd most likely kill him, or at least rough him up a lot. He scrambled out of the car into the open. The rain beat down on his face, and he wished he had an umbrella. He heard a noise through the rain, and darted inside a burn-out husk of a truck. Several men walked by him, straight up the car and looked inside. Thank goodness, Thaddius thought, he woke up just in time. The men exchanged some words in the pig-Mandarin typical to these parts. Thaddius didn't understand it because he spoke only two languages: English and street. After a moment, three of the four men who had walked by him initially left the scene, leaving one man behind who was trying without success to light a cigarette. Finally, just as got it lit, a deadly karate chop slammed into the man's neck, exploding an artery and causing him to die. Thaddius grabbed the cigarette from the man's hand as he crumbled to the ground, took one long drag, then walked away. After a couple steps, he's dramtically turned and flicked the cigarette at the man, who burst into flames, because apparently he was covered in gasoline.

Thaddius slowly snaked his way through the compound, using his street-wise martial arts skills to hack and chop his way to freedom. As he reached the fence surrounding the compound, he saw several dozen guards appear. They all started rushing at him, when suddenly the fence behind him was torn asunder and a metal arm grabbed him, and he was carried away quickly to safety. Crimebot chortled robotically. "So, you thought you could escape me by seeking the protection of the Metal Ravens, eh? What a foolish plan it was to hang out so near the exterior of the compound!" Thaddius began to object, but Crimebot cut him off. "After I knocked you out, I thought I killed you so I went to get a doctor. When I came back, you were gone! I thought you had ran off, but after some searching I learned that the Metal Ravens had taken you in as to protect you from me, because they hate me so much. A clever ploy, making alliances with my enemies before even meeting me!"

Thaddius was dumbfounded. He must have killed 15 Metal Ravens during his presumed escape. Resigning himself to his own stupidity, he asked Crimebot a serious qustion. "What now?"
Crimebot informed him gladly, saying "You take me to that warehouse, I rescue my friends, and you get off scot-free. Now let's go!" And so, Thaddius and Crimebot rolled rapidly towards the Warehouse, and at least one of them was unaware of the terrible fate that was in store for them...